Introduction – My Crazy Thirties
Ever since I turned 30 I feel I have moved from walking on the streets of life with my chalewote (Ghanaian term for flip flops) and moved onto life’s treadmill of which I keep falling off.
I am a husband, father, employee, boss, rapper, poet, entrepreneur and pastor trying to balance or should I say juggle the many hats I wear while keeping my head shiny and my beard looking as neat as possible.
These roles are pretty new to me and though I have been rapping and performing poetry for a while, it has become quite the challenge alongside my other duties and passions. Writing is harder and memorizing and practicing performance difficult because between work and telling a boy to stop crying, the comas do not pause long enough for rehearsals let alone a haiku.
One minute I am jogging on the treadmill and next I am running towards pain instead of getting off the bloody machine. Why? Because I am keeping up appearances. Making an attempt or doing what everyone is doing because………
That’s the new normal!
Well, I AM TIRED!
Enough Is Enough
I am not the son of krypton and neither a super hero in the Marvel universe. Even they are met with situations that cause them to reconsider how they approach their fight.
Paul and Hondred Percent are the same and that often puts me in situations where I am doing things like others and not how Paul should be doing things. We are each different and go about things differently. We tend to forget that sometimes and feel that’s a one size fits all solution to things.
Keeping Up With Social Media
To be more specific, as an artist I have struggled in maintaining a social media presence. I am glad I uninstalled Snapchat because I couldn’t get my head around it’s purpose other than taking cute silly pics with my kids.
My audience hangs out on social media, thus in making a difference, it is a platform I can’t ignore.
That being said. Keeping up with social media is a rat race and there is a tendency to do stuff because the world is doing it or because it will bring about interaction such as likes, follows and comments. There is also a sort of sacrifice you give in the form of selfies, posts, videos etc to show you are relevant.
I tried to do this some years back by trying to write a blog post everyday. It was a good challenge and brought out the writer in me but got me forcing creativity and its natural flow.
I made several plans and executed but never got that post to stick on the wall.
Sometime last year my son destroyed my phone and forced a creative hibernation on my life which was much needed.
Catching My Breath
With a smart phone out of my life I was forced to take a breather.
I had been pushing and looking hard for a way to maintain a social media presence that I never considered the alternative of rest.
“What is rest going to do? What we need is to try something new”. This was my thought process and boy was I wrong.
The treadmill put me on this path of “don’t quit, get up and try again”, and frustrated the poetry in my life. I was not happy and stress was building as my pillow each night I slept. Not only because of my social media presence but other things of which I refused to get off the treadmill about.
I did not want to stop running. The world is running so I too must run without asking why? Or pausing to understand the why?
I believe I am not alone in this running on the treadmill saga of a problem. Because we enter the gym of life with the treadmill already turned on we forget that it has an off switch, that we can slow it down or get off and that seems like weird choices because the whole gym of life has others just running on treadmills in their nice outfits with earphones going faster but to where and for what, it’s not really clear.
I don’t know why the world is running but my running is not helping me reach my cause so I am stopping to catch my breath.
Alright Stop! Collaborate & Listen
Stopping didn’t mean I had quit. It just meant I was figuring out the best way of continuing. Sometimes this could take months and years. In this space I let God reveal what my truth is and how I can exist without faking it.
In the great words of Vanilla Ice in the hit song “Ice Ice Baby”, you have to stop, get in tune with your self, environment and God and listen to what all are telling you.
We’re 90% Done – Conclusion
It’s not easy and I am still figuring out this journey of life. I am however running on my own terms and want to make a difference to those around me. I want to share my struggles and successes with the world and help them in becoming the best person they can be.
I believe this is possible only with Jesus. You may agree or disagree and that’s okay. I believe that if you are truly seeking truth you will meet Him.
Don’t be caught up in the race the world is running. It’s okay to stop and catch your breath. Don’t worry if others keep running. The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Pause and reflect on the journey ahead. Ask for help and let truth help in finding the best way to continue running.
Keep it ONE HONDRED!
It’s as if you are in my mind and heart…
I’m going to stop, catch my breath and figure out where and headed and why I’m going that direction. being a single mother of a 9 year old daughter is very challenging as I don’t know if what I’m doing it right. I need to be an example to her but how?
thanks Hondred Percent!
you are a blessing this morning.
Hi Xola, I am touched that this post touched you. There is no shame in saying you are over whelmed.
Sometimes you will get instant help and sometimes it will take a while. I urge you to look deep into yourself and find healing and truth.
God provides this in amazing ways. Submit to his knowledge and he shall point you in the right direction.
I have two kids and though I have my wife by my side and some help it is challenging. I think you are doing a great job as a parent. You will make mistakes and that’s okay. Just learn from them and seek wisdom on how to live a peaceful life in order that you sow such peace into your daughter.
Keep it One Hondred!
Total truth. Lovely
Pause, reflect and get back to what you love to do and do it with all your heart, mind and strength. Taking a break is so important…just like taking in deep breaths and being thankful for all around you. I agree with you hondredpercent ??
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I am taking a deep breath right now!
I am catching a breather